Awkward was the Friday

First new post of the new year, and unfortunately due to my lack of camera, there will be no pics up. I want to thank everyone for hanging out with me during the break, eating with me, keeping me from getting arrested for hat-based assault on New Year's Eve, and nurturing my sick/sad obsession with Guitar Hero. It was really nice to be back and see that everyone is doing great and still keepin' on. Cobra-lalalalalalala!

Anyways, the reason this post is so late is because in between the major jet-lag induced insanity I was suffering the first week I was back, and then the manic week of work I had last week, I hadn't had the energy to get my thoughts together. Plus nothing that eventful happened upon my return. It's funny how a place becomes your home quickly, and I loved seeing everyone and it was an amazing time, but sometimes we just need to be back in our headspace and think. It's taken me about two weeks to get back into the routine (ie: I was taking taxi's to work the first week I was back because cycling seemed too primitive).

So onto new news. I normally wouldn't write things about any romantic intrigue on this blog, as this is all on the web, so who knows who will see it, then pass it on, etc. Now, don't get to excited, because by "intrigue" I mean shit-show. Here, I present to you friends, the tale of my past Friday:

I was arranged to go to a party on Friday where this guy who "fancied" me would be at. To give background to this, I have to go back to a gig I went to with my friend before the Christmas holiday. You may remember it from my past post about getting lice on my face from the dirty dreads I was standing behind at this thing. Apparently at said show, I walked by a friend of my friend's friend (please try to follow), and mid-sentence he was so struck by me walking past, he stopped to proclaim that I was "amazing." This was all relayed to me last week after I was curious as to why my friend's friend (not friend of a friend's friend) randomly invited me to this party when I had only spoken to this person about twice (nice but random).

After hearing this story about my supposed amazingness at this concert, my first question was "Who?" because I did not recall meeting anyone that night that I had not met before. Turns out to be a mate of someone else, so my next question was "Why did he not speak to me that night then?" The answer: shyness. Still not really getting the idea here, because he could have asked for an intro, and now I am left flying blind. I am also questioning this man's tastes in the sense of what he deems amazing. This has got me most worried because here are the types of men who normally find me amazing on sight:

Men who are 50+ years old

Men who are barely taller than me (ie: dwarves)

Finnish Peter Griffin

So I am a bit concerned and skeptical going into this entire evening with very low expectations, but if anything I could write a humorous blog post about it, right? So why not check it out!

I get to the bar, and my friend points him out straight away, and he's not that bad. Call me old fashioned though, but I thought it would be up to him to initiate a chat because he was the one who saw me. What if he sees me again after almost a month and his deluded mind has cleared to see I am not that awesome? What if was really talking about someone else? Many things could go wrong here.

So the night goes on, and I can safely say that the atmosphere as people got more and more drunk degenerated into a Jr. High School dance. Rather than ask a friend for a introduction, he just stood as far away from me as possible, avoiding eye contact, etc. Then his friends were egging him on and on, calling out to him to follow me across the bar, and the like.  I think at one point at this Junior Prom we were standing together in the same group and he refused to speak. 

Finally, by last call, I was drunk, and saying to my friend, "This dude is a PUSSY! I cannot be bothered with this." His friend overheard me, and was trying to explain to me that he was just terrified of talking to me. TERRIFIED?! That is not a good vibe I am emanating if I am striking terror in his heart. It still boggles my mind that anyone can be intimidated by me. This dude was 32 and about 6'1". It made absolutely no sense to me. I was mingling and having fun, not brooding in a corner practicing my best imitation of the Exorcist. 

So then the climax of this exercise in devolution culminated in his friend literally dragging him over to where I was perched on a table talking to a friend. And oh, what a denouement this finale has. He is so completely hammered at this point that he can barely speak. He sits next to me on the side of the table, but he might as well have sat on my lap. It goes from keeping a 20 foot radius away from me all night to sitting so close to me and talking in my ear really loudly. Oh dear. To make matters worse, sorry to be completely un-P.C., but he talked like this at this point (and I don't mean like the little girl):

There is no other way to clearly describe the way he spoke! His mouth was skewed to the side, his chin pressed to the back of his neck, and eyes rolling about. It was the most insane look I had ever seen that close. NO GOOD. I was afraid he was going to drool on me soon, so I patiently spoke to him for 10 minutes, bearing the weight of his drunken mess literally on my left hip, then excused myself to use the bathroom. Luckily it was last call, so we were getting kicked out anyways. Upon my return, I said a nice to meet you, got to go, and went back to my friends to call a cab, and try to make my exit as painless as possible. 

So that is the end of my tale. No luck that night, but hopefully a lively story for the rest of you. I tried, guys, really tried. I am no good at all this kind of boy meets girl stuff anyways... 

Beyond that, my weekend was good. Got a really complicated manicure on Saturday and then Andrew came down at night to hang out with me in Oxford, so we just crawled around some pubs and got kebabs. A much better way to round up the weekend!

Hope everyone else's new years have started off in a better fashion! Let me know how things are rolling off for you all!

Until next time...

Holidays on Steroids

Sorry to not have written a long entry in awhiles, but while combating a cold, I have been having to participate in English Christmas, which is totally amped up. The past week and the week to come is filled with a manic amount of Christmas parties, and I can't remember the last time I have been so social, but overall it's been really fun~ I'll be home soon enough to update you all on the festivities in person, but here are some highlights of the things I have been doing:

Thanksgiving: 

Andrew had so graciously invited me to Thanksgiving with his and Yuan's friends from school. It was a veritable ex-Pat Thanksgiving, and where I did miss my mom's cooking, it was a good replacement, and I did get to eat to my hearts content. Here is a pic from the evening. Notice I am holding my stomach because I can't really stand straight:

Random gig:

I accompanied a friend of mine from work to a gig her friend was doing at a local pub. The music was alright (think 50s-surfer themed music), but the most interesting part was the crowd. There were some celebs in the crowd, most notably, Methusela was rocking out hard the entire evening to the tunes. Not pictured here is his date Methusalina, who would be his female equivalent and possible date?

Everyone knows how much I hate standing room only events, and this one was one of those that I didn't like. I got to stare at this all evening:

He seems pretty calm in this picture, but he was dancing like a hippy doped up on acid in a hackey-sack tournament, so I was getting major whiplash (and possibly lice) from his dreads. He also remarkably reminded me of the DJ from Zoolander who kept playing "Relax." 

Coincidence?

Holiday Parties galore:

This past week I had been to two holiday parties. One of them was for OxFam, which I went to with my flat-mate who works there. This party's theme was "Be Evil-Kind", which was some kind of spin on their motto, which is something like "Annoy and guilt people into saving the world" or after going to the party maybe it should be "America contains all things evil." So people had to dress up as things that would be evil Christmas, so we had our bad santas, slutty elves, evil reindeer, but along with that we had many things representing the white-devil of the U.S. There was George Bush and Sarah Palin's, then a woman dressed like a whore with dollar bill signs and dollars everywhere, and of course Ronald McDonald. 

Someone was dressed as a banana, so I asked my flatmate, "What is so evil about bananas?" Her response was that he was a Wal-Mart banana, so he wasn't free trade. How....clever? Perhaps I should have dressed up as a faucet with two separated taps. I find that far more of a mind-fuck than a banana from Wal-Mart. I was thinking that Jeff's Kim Jong Il would have been the best costume at this party, and also something that was actually evil. Don't forget to bring it when you come visit!

Both are far more evil than anything I saw at this evil-Christmas

We had our office Christmas lunch on Friday, which was really amazing. We had a restaurant booked off, and a three-course meal, which was good. It was a good opportunity to chat up people I normally don't speak to (or even knew existed) in the department. After the food, we went to a backroom where there was Secret Santa (I got a really nice gift) and our annual Christmas competition, which was modeled after Dancing with the Stars (called Strictly Come Dancing here). Pairs of people were photographed then put on a generic background and turned to black silhouettes so you can only see their shape and relative sizes to each other. We had to guess each couple in the pics and whoever gets the most wins a prize. After seeing the results, it was nice to see that even up to management levels, every one is a good sport and really gets into things. I also didn't fair too badly for being a newbie, beating some of my other co-workers who have been there for years. 

Here is a nice pic of me and the people who sit in my pod at work:

After all these festivities, we just hung around and drank. Then we moved to a new place and drank some more. At one point, Michelle and I needed to break off and eat again. Brits are hardcore. All in, I think we were out drinking for 12 hours, and some people didn't eat the entire time since our lunch! I couldn't understand how these people were standing by the end of the night, and by the time I left, there were still people out. I may have been able to hang this year, as I want to make a good impression, but not sure if every year I will be able to last this long.

Upcoming events:

Coming up this week, I have more Christmas lunches, our "unofficial" Christmas party (apparently where people really wild out), last minute X-mas shopping, packing, and then coming back to you guys! Can't wait...I hope my mom has the kimchee ready!

Random Note 1

This is why I love Italians. Even with floodwaters rising in Venice, they will still hang out, eat their colazione and drink vino. 

El Bulli Biatches!

We are in with all 39 courses of goodness. 

I *heart* NYC

Not much to report this week; just took it easy after an eventful two weeks. I went to see a band at the Carling Academy down the street. A friend of mine's friend asked us to go see his friend's band, so I was a bit anxious in case it wasn't my cup of tea, but I ended up enjoying it a lot. It was standing room only, which I loathe because of my stature, but it wasn't that packed so I got to be up in the front and could see pretty well amongst all the groupies (I was the only one not going ballistic or singing along). Overall a good performance, nothing that innovative but good tunes all around. (Band is called A Silent Film if anyone is interested.)

Anywhos, as many of the restaurants in Oxford have posted, my Christmas bookings are open too. I will be home for 10 days in exactly a month, so let's make dates and appointments! I will be in NYC from Dec 28th to Jan 2nd, spending the earlier part of my trip in Joisey with my family. A friend of mine just returned from a trip to New York, so I was listening to her recount her trip and getting nostalgic and hungry. Here is a list of things I need to do (in no particular order):

1. Get a haircut
2. Lombardi's
3. Katz's
4. La Esquina tacos
5. Sushi of any kind
6. my mom's korean BBQ
7. Buy shoes (I am a size 2 here which automatically leads me to have to get shoes with a lot of sequins and bows as only children's shoes fit me here)
8. Mega-hang
9. Play Guitar Hero 4 until my fingers bleed and I get a relapse in vertigo
10. Something fun for New Years
11. Huge diner breakfast with pancakes
12. Gin-Gin-Mule at Pegu
13. A solid American hamburger
14. Joe's or Yeah's
15. Beef Noodle Soup from Deep China
16. If there is snow, go boarding at least once

Do you see a trend arising? Who would like to help me fulfill these requests? I am very excited to see everyone and share food and laughs!

As for the upcoming week, I go to London to visit Andrew and Yuan to have an ex-pat's Thanksgiving and see an exhibit at the Royal Academy. I hope everyone has a good turkey day and eats until they fall into a light coma!

A special happy 30th to my brother. I hope you are having fun in Barbados!