Presenting my bicycle - AND CONTEST!

Here is a pic of the bicycle I bought. I picked it up today, and the guy helping me was mad rude and completely unhelpful so I walked it to my new flat and realized that the handlebars may be too high (like just under my shoulders). Not having owned a bike in ages, how was I to know? And since the salesman seem uninterested in a newbie like me, I think I will have to drag it back in for an adjustment tomorrow. Will post pics of the real thing (and if I feel like treating you guys, me in my gimpy helmet) with the basket on it.

Since the bars are so high and the seat is so low, it feels like a low-rider. Jeff thinks that I should rock this look while riding it around the streets of Oxford:
Here is a contest for you lot. I'll think of a prize to post over for the winner, but it probably will be something like the British sundry of your choice. In the comments section, leave a name for the bike, and I will pick the one that suits it best! Have fun and make me laugh!

Courtesy of Coleman

My friend Coleman took this lovely picture for me. He is not British in anyway, but I think he can make a strong showing here and co-mingle with all the crazies in town that I have been hearing about. (Also, notice the full set of the OED he is sporting in the background. As I said, he will fit right in here.)

Things take some getting used to...

There are plenty of things that take adjusting while I am here. Some are functional, some are behavioural, and some are just plain perplexing.

The sinks: For some reason, the Brits like to keep thier hot and cold water completely separate. I have still not mastered how to use these sinks, and have asked a few people what it is all about. One girl just looks at me and says "What's wrong with it? Whaddya mean? Wha?" Then I felt like an unsophisticated fool, like I was missing some sort of functional glamour to separate taps. Another girl quite agreed with me at how absurd it is. Every time I use the loo (check me out!), I have to decide whether I want to burn my hands off or have them freeze. I have contemplated gathering water in the basin, but then the idea of washing my face with the water that has all the soap residue in it doesn't seem the most sanitary option. I think this is what I have the biggest issue with.

Slow walking: I think as a New Yorker, no matter where you go, everyone is a slow walker. I am trying to temper my rage at slow walkers while I am here. I was out at dinner with some new friends today, and when we were finished, since it was still light out, I decided to walk home. Their estimated time to get home was 45 minutes - 1 hour. I did it in 25 minutes. Pshaw.

Military time: This requires too much math for me. After noon hits and I have to look at a digital clock, it is too much for me to calculate the time. No one says "It is 22 o'clock." Why do they use this?

Celsius temperatures: Not sure if I will ever figure this out (again, math). Thank goodness for my weather widget on my mac.

Trees, trees, and more trees: This is actually really nice. My allergies have not acted up while I have been here, to my relief. I am known to have flair ups when in close proximity to nature, so I am pleased to see that I am completely not averse to it. I think it was the homeless in SF that I was allergic to ultimately.

No potty mouths: Compared to the people I have met, I talk like a dirty mouthed sailor with rabies. Perhaps they all have a wider range and use of vocabulary. I have no idea, but its good for me not to use so much foul language and expand my expressions from WTF all the time, to something more colorful (or colourful). Also, I am not sure of what the heirarchy of swear words are, so I should watch myself. Imagine me being so prim?

Toast: People love it. So do I.

Computer keyboards: It has been madness for me to adjust to having the @ where the " used to be. And my beloved ~ has its own key with the # sign just to the left of the enter key. There is this weird thing where it used to be: ¬. What is that symbol for anyways?!

Telephone numbers: Too many digits. Enough said.

It's fun having so many new things around. Keeps me over-stimulated, and tempers being home-sick. I'll eventually post the things I miss from the States (besides my friends and family, who I miss always). I was at a bar the other night, and people seem to go into cardiac arrest when they find out I have moved from NYC to the village they call Oxford. I feel like I will be getting that alot.

First day of work tomorrow!

The Waking Life and New Beginnings

After two months of waiting, paperwork, and logistics, I finally made it to the Ox~!

The title of this blog comes from a conversation I had before I left with my grams (aka Yoda), who is 89 and all 4'6" of awesomeness. She kept thinking that I was going to Germany for some reason (maybe because she remembers that I speak German?), but once we reminded her I was going to the land of her one and only lover Prince William, she says to me in Korean, "Oh, England! That's where the people are really tall, right? They wear strange tassles on their hats and are really good at playing the trumpet. You will have fun there. Meet a tall man and get married before I die!" Those are some lasting words and the most random description of English people I have ever heard. Who knows where my grams got this notion of the English, but God bless her.

To recount my last 24-some-odd hours, the flight was delayed, and I didn't get to sleep on the plane because there was a rabid baby crying non-stop and my seatmate wanted to chat the entire time, so I was pretty all-out-of-sorts by the time we touched down. I had great anxieties about the baggage claim as I had 5 suitcases all weighing about 50lbs each, but was able to find a lovely toothless porter to help me out. He was not pleased by the amount of luggage I had for sure.

I always have trouble finding drivers at the passenger pick-up area so I was running around the entire area like a crazy loon while my porter just waited on the side. Luckily my driver was standing right next to him the entire time and I didn't see him. Unluckily, my driver almost had a heart attack when he found out all of this luggage was for me. The reason? Even though I told the person booking my car in advance that I would have atleast 4 large cases, this message was not conveyed to the driver and he showed up in a sweet, but too small Mercedes. The driver just looks at me and goes "This is all you? How? You are so small! How do you have so many things?" I resent this comment, because it's not like I wear Barbie clothes that I can pack it all inside a leprechaun satchel and be off, but I was too tired to care, and I knew this dude had to help me unload everything into my new flat, so I just rolled with it with no snarkiness.

Beyond this, the driver was really nice and we chatted a little about this and that and finally got to the flat. I was PRAYING they gave me a ground floor flat, but in the end, I was on the second floor, so this guy who thought he was just driving had to lug all of my cases up a flight of steps. Did I mention he was also wearing a nice shirt, slacks, and dress shoes? I am honored that they sent someone so dapper in a nice car to come get me, but I guess they didn't realize I am some dink and no bigwig exec. So after I worked this guy for all that he got and tipped him with all the UK cash I had on hand (£8), I wrote some e-mails telling people I was safe, called up Debbie, who I am replacing to let her know I was in, arranged some meet up after they get out of work, and proceeded to pass-the-f-out.

After that, not much goings on. I met up with some of the girls I will be working with, had a pint of beloved Guiness, came home and fell asleep at 8:30PM. I think at this point I hadn't eaten for a good 18 hours, but sleep overrode anything else. I woke up this morning refreshed to a point, went to the grocers and walked about town.

Here are three things I learned on my first day:

1. There is no way I can pick up British slang. I sound like a complete tool using it.


2. There are crazy people who work in my new office. One is lovingly called the Cabbage Man because he ravenously eats a huge bowl of steamed cabbage everyday in the cafeteria. YUM! The other lady I was told about has an incredible green sweater with a huge squirrel eating a nut on it. I will be on the lookout for her.


3. The streets randomly change names while you are on them.
   

The weather is nice and cool, and the sun should hold up until Wednesday, so it's a nice intro to the city for me! Just wanted to start off this blog thing, and pics should come when I am at my permanent address!